Ashes of Merciless Page 21

  “What?” I shouted, my vision tinged with red. I was breathing very hard, my pulse pounding.

  Aden only stared at me, seemingly at a loss for words.

  “Sorry,” I said bitterly. “You’re not Gage. I don’t expect you to understand, but you asked.”

  Aden inclined his head as he studied me. “Have you never realized it wasn’t just you who killed those people?”

  “What are you talking about?” I grumbled, but I leaned toward him as if he held all the secrets of the world.

  “The Observers gather the information. The Sealers meet with the people wanting the deaths. It starts with the people who want those Assignments carried out in the first place. Those outside of Merciless are actually the ones who set the ball in motion. You, unfortunately, are burdened with the final touches. So you see, it wasn’t only you.”

  I froze. Aden’s words were like bees buzzing around in my brain, and I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.

  “Have you never looked at it that way?” he asked softly.

  “I . . .” I had not. I’d never thought of it as being anyone’s fault but my own. Blinded by self-hatred, by anger, I wondered if I’d ever even wanted to see it any other way. There was truth to Aden’s words.

  “So you’re saying it’s not my fault at all. I didn’t really kill all those people?” I asked almost breathlessly.

  Aden looked slightly uncomfortable. “Well, you had a part in it. There’s no escaping that. But what I’m trying to tell you is that you weren’t alone in the acts. Not by a longshot. The Observers, the Sealers, and the ones who Sealed all killed those people just the same as you did. Even the Trainers had their hands in it by preparing you. The Master, the Patrol Guards . . . Everyone, Ashley. It just happened to be you and the other Assassins who delivered the final blows.”

  I didn’t know what to say or what to think. There was a tightness in my chest, a sensation I’d grown so used to having I was barely aware of its existence, and it snapped. I gasped slightly as the pain slowly faded. Relief, small and almost nonexistent because of the coming events, flooded my body. I felt almost hysterical from the absent burden.

  “Ashley, are you all right?” Aden asked worriedly.

  Something close to a laugh flew from my lips. “I think so. I mean, yeah, I’m fine. As fine as I can be considering the situation.”

  “You look like you’re about to hug me or strangle me. I can’t decide which.”

  I laughed again. “It’s just, I always blamed only myself. But what you said, it kinda makes sense. I know I’ll always sort of feel like it’s only my fault, but it really wasn’t, was it?” I knew he could hear the hope in my voice, the absolute desire to be assured again.

  “Not completely,” he agreed quickly.

  I leaned back in the seat, almost relaxing.

  Aden cleared his throat. “Well, I’m glad I could help. It’s nice to know I’ve done at least one thing right before the end.”

  The air seemed to grow thick. Aden’s head bowed, and he stared at his hands as if unsure if they were his or not.

  I looked away, feeling like I was intruding on a private moment. “And it’s nice to realize the truth . . . before the end. That maybe I’ve been too hard on myself,” I said slowly.

  Aden and I shared a small and equally sad smile. I knew he blamed himself for his mother’s death just as much as I blamed myself for mine. I knew I was taking a huge risk in bringing Aden with me in the first place, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I couldn’t do this without him. I trusted him, even though a part of me didn’t want to.

  “You don’t seem very scared to die,” Aden said after about twenty minutes of silence.

  I chewed on my lower lip. There was no point in holding everything in now. Gage wasn’t here, and I would never see him again. I closed my eyes briefly in agony. Aden would have to do.

  “I wasn’t truly afraid to die until your father put that needle into my arm.”

  And it was true. There’d been times, mainly before Gage had forced his way into my life, when I’d hoped an Assignment would go wrong. And now that I was dying, now that I knew of something that could prolong my life, I wanted more than anything to live.

  I wanted it so bad, but deep in my heart, I knew I wasn’t going to survive this mission.

  “I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am, Ashley,” Aden whispered.

  “It’s not like it’s your fault. But you’re not really apologizing to me, are you? I’m not your mother, Aden. I don’t know what you could have done to save her, but what has happened to me is not your fault.”

  The weight of Aden’s gaze was heavy. “So you think I could have saved her? Got us out of there and stayed somewhere safe?” There was a challenge in his questions.

  I tried to be careful in choosing my next words. “I’m not sure. I don’t know the layout of your house or the property, or even what weapons you had access to. I do know you two would have been on the run for the rest of your lives, never a guarantee of safety. But I won’t lie to you—I would have gotten my mother out of there.”

  Aden’s hand suddenly gripped my arm, and I swerved the car to the side of the road, slamming on the brakes. A single car passed us, the headlights washing over Aden’s enraged face.

  I eyed him coldly. “Take your hand off of me, Aden.”

  His fingers tightened on my skin. “So you’re saying it’s my fault? She’s dead because of me?”

  I knocked his hand away. “No, but you could have gotten her out of there. Maybe—”

  “I took beatings for her! I put myself between them as much as I could before he’d drug me or knock me clear out!”

  Shame coursed through me. I was throwing salt on his wounds.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I implied it was your fault. I said I would have gotten her out, but I’m too headstrong for my own good and probably would have gotten us both killed had I been in your shoes. Look, you can’t beat yourself up about the past. As much as we want to change the past, we can’t. But we can change the future, and that’s what we’re trying to do now, isn’t it?”

  Aden’s features slipped back into stone, a mask I knew all too well. My stomach dropped slightly.

  “Let’s just get moving,” Aden muttered.

  I pulled back onto the road, rubbing my temple with one hand. I was such a jerk sometimes. I’d thought most of the ice around my heart had melted, but apparently, there was a part of me that was permanently frozen. I knew it was mainly the situation and leaving Gage behind that was bringing out the worst parts of myself, but that wasn’t a good enough excuse.

  “I’m sorry, Aden,” I said.

  Aden shrugged like he didn’t care. “No need. You were right. I could have gotten us out. I was just too weak to do it.”

  I rubbed my temple harder. I was getting a headache.

  “You’re not weak,” I said.

  He snorted without humor, tracing the window with his index finger. “Yeah? And how do you figure that? You don’t even know me, not really.”

  “Well, you’re on your way to kill your father. Even if he is a monster, that can’t be easy,” I replied, trying not to think about how I really didn’t know Aden, and how dangerous this was despite what my instincts said.

  “It is easy,” Aden said. He unzipped the bag and began digging through its contents. A surprised gasp came from his lips. “Ashley, is that a sword?”

  I smirked. “A short sword, yes. That’s for me.”

  He pulled it out and unsheathed it, eyeing me carefully. “Why are you bringing a sword?”

  “I’ve always wanted to use one. Careful. It’s really sharp,” I cautioned.

  “So when you all escaped from Headquarters, someone managed to grab a sword?” Aden asked in disbelief.

  “Yeah. Off the wall in the hallway. Lacey actually had to use it, too. She told me. She cut the Assassin Kevin across his belly when he got in the way.” I sounded proud of her, as if she were my ki
d who’d scored the most goals in a soccer game.

  Aden nodded sarcastically. “Oh, yeah. Screw the guns. Everybody grab a sword on your way out. Is there a suit of armor in the trunk, too?”

  “I did bring guns. There are two handguns in there.”

  Aden rummaged through the bag, looking worried. “Where’s the extra ammo?”

  I cracked my knuckles nervously against my thigh. “There isn’t any,” I mumbled.

  “Ashley!”

  I pressed the gas pedal harder. “I told you guns are emergency-use only, at least until I say otherwise. Besides, I didn’t want to take their ammo in case they needed it,” I argued.

  Aden threw up his hands. “And how many guns did you leave them with?”

  “Three. We only had four in total until we took the one Shane found on you. It’s in there, by the way. That’s the one you can use.”

  Aden gave me a fake grin. “Thanks. That makes me feel so much better. By the way, didn’t Shane and Gage go to a hospital and steal morphine for you? Why couldn’t he have obtained more guns?”

  “Shane can’t use his multiple identities anymore. The hospital was different, something that wasn’t going to be traced as easily as buying a bunch of firearms. He went in and flashed an ID, stole the morphine, and got out. But trying to buy a bunch of guns? Merciless would have been on him in a second.”

  Aden flushed slightly. “I guess I didn’t think about that,” he admitted. “I would have made a really crappy leader, huh?”

  “Maybe a really crappy Observer,” I said mildly. “You did say you didn’t pay much attention to your lessons.”

  Aden bit his lip and looked through the bag some more. “So what am I supposed to use if I can’t use my gun?”

  “There are two daggers in there. You can duel wield,” I tried to joke.

  I could tell he was getting angry. “Ashley, I’m serious. Just two daggers?”

  “Look, if you stay behind me, you’ll be all right. For you there are two daggers, your gun, a stun gun, and a cyanide pill. I know that doesn’t seem like much, but now it’s your turn to trust me—I’ve killed with much less. Plus, for every person we kill, we get to take their weapons. It’s going to be fine, ok?” I said.

  He still looked unsure. “I guess.”

  “Hey!” I said desperately. “Don’t have that attitude. Head in the game, Aden, or else we both might not walk away from this.”

  Aden turned to me, all the sadness of the world glistening in his eyes.

  “I don’t think we’re walking away from this anyway, Ashley.”

  Chapter 17 Ambush

  I buckled the sword across my back. With the same mechanical motions, I readied the rest of my limited and almost pathetic equipment. Dagger tied tightly at the left side of my waist, the gun at my right. Cyanide pill in my pocket, along with a syringe of morphine and a tourniquet. Aden had morphine as well.

  “This is beyond insanity,” Aden muttered at he tied his daggers to his belt. “I know I’m desperate for revenge if I’m going along with this.”

  I tried to tune him out as I fiddled with the dark green gem in my dagger’s hilt. I knew it was placebo, but touching the cold stone filled me with numbing peace. It was nothing like Gage’s invigorating presence, but it was better than nothing at all.

  I looked around as Aden finished arming up. We were on a backroad near the woods behind the farm. Strips of red sunlight lightened the dark sky, and the stars were slowly disappearing. The air smelled like hay and animals, tickling my nostrils almost uncomfortably.

  “Hurry up,” I hissed. I wasn’t necessarily worried about a cop passing this way, but it was better not to be seen by anyone at all.

  Aden stretched, clearly getting a feel for the weight at his waist.

  “Aren’t you worried about leaving the car on the side of the road?” he asked.

  “A backwater place like this? No one will bother it.”

  “You really think this is going to work? That we can do this?” Aden asked calmly, but I could see the worry in his eyes. In the car, he’d seemed like he’d accepted the danger, but now panic was obviously eating at him.

  “I don’t know. Why? Are you backing out now? Because if you are, you can stay here. I’ll go alone,” I said stiffly.

  Aden ran a hand through his messy hair. “I’m with you. Why do you think I agreed to your crazy plan?”

  I went to the edge of the woods and looked back at him over my shoulder. “Because you knew coming with me was the only way. Gage and my family are safe and out of this, and that’s what’s important. Let’s go. We’re losing darkness.”

  Aden nodded and walked over to me. Before we entered the woods, I put my arm out and stopped him. He raised an eyebrow and looked down at me curiously.

  “If you betray me, you’ll wish you hadn’t. I mean it—I’ll stop at nothing to kill you, and I’ll do it slowly. Very slowly. You’ll beg for death, do you understand me?” I threatened. I could almost feel the silver of my eyes glinting with my promise. No matter how much I did trust him, I couldn’t just snuff out common sense.

  His face was bleached of color except for two bright spots of red on his cheeks. His voice was cold when he spoke. “If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already, beautiful.”

  I lowered my arm and unsheathed my dagger. “Remember what I said.”

  I walked into the woods, my feet crushing the leaves silently as I listened to every breath and movement coming from Aden.

  He came up behind me. I tensed, positioning the dagger to where I could plunge it backwards into him. I relaxed slightly when he only whispered into my ear.

  “Are we using the woods entrance?”

  “No,” I murmured. “We need to kill everyone aboveground first. They’re about to know we’re here anyway.”

  Aden’s eyes asked the question for him. I pointed to a tree not too far away from us. Nearly invisible under a tree branch rested a black camera.

  Aden’s breath was warm next to my ear. “If they see us, the alarm will sound, and they will be on us in a second.”

  “It’s the same if I destroy it,” I replied. “But I don’t think we can dodge all of the cameras. There has to be hundreds.”

  “The camera room is in the basement of the farmhouse,” Aden said. “If we can get in there and disable the system . . .”

  I tightened my grip on the dagger. “We’ll never make it without being seen. Brace yourself. This is about to get messy.”

  “Ashley, no!”

  I threw the dagger. The point of the blade hit the lens with a small crack, and the dagger fell to the ground with an audible thump.

  “Get in the tree!” I commanded as I swiftly picked the blade up and sheathed it. Just because we didn’t hear the alarm didn’t mean that Merciless couldn’t.

  “Are you insane? Are you even remotely intelligent?” Aden raised his voice as he fumbled for his gun.

  I grabbed his hands and shoved him toward the tree.

  “Climb the tree, idiot! Aden, if you want to live, climb that tree!”

  He swore and jumped to grab the lowest branch, hauling himself up.

  “Climb as high as you can and stay up there. Do not come down until I tell you to!” I said as I ran to the tree opposite of his.

  The lowest branch was way too high for me. I skipped backwards and prayed my body had retained enough of its vitality to get me through this. I sprinted toward the trunk and ran up the tree, jumping as soon as possible and grabbing the lowest branch.

  I hung by my arms, happy at my accomplishment, but it was soon replaced with dread as I tried to pull myself up.

  I couldn’t.

  Fear crackled throughout my body, jolting me with little electric sparks as my arms shook uncontrollably. We had hardly started this suicidal mission, and I was already in trouble.

  “You’re not giving up already. Come on, Ashley!” Ash said.

  “Ashley!” Aden’s voice was strained.

  I
bit my lip to focus and swung my body as my arms screamed in pain. My fingers scraped against the bark, and I almost slipped as I swung harder.

  “Please,” I whispered as I closed my eyes and swung my body one last time.

  The air seemed to burn my skin as I flung myself up and over. My feet found the branch, and I wobbled slightly before finding my balance.

  I heard Aden’s sigh of relief as I climbed higher. I was careful to stay close, but not too close, to the ground. I unsheathed my blades and balanced on a branch, looking to Aden in the camouflage of the greenery. His eyes met mine just as hushed voices sounded in the distance.

  If they had sensors on them, Aden and I were in trouble.

  “It was the camera around here. Bet you it’s her.”

  I tensed. It was Ben, a Patrol Guard. My hands trembled more than usual, yet relief filled me. They didn’t have sensors, or they would know our location by now.

  “She’s weak and dying. She’ll be easy to break into pieces.”

  Joyce. Another Patrol Guard.

  “Remember, you two. The Master wants us to bring Ashley to him at least halfway alive. He said he’s not finished with her.”

  I didn’t know this voice. . . . So he’d hired more people. My stomach turned when they came into view.

  Four. Four trained professionals in bulletproof vests, armed to the teeth.

  Suddenly, I felt very alone, more alone than I could ever remember feeling. And I couldn’t shoot them. There could be others nearby, and that would only bring them running. I was already hopelessly outnumbered with limited ammo.

  If only my body wasn’t shutting down.

  “She’s around here somewhere, probably with her little friends. Traitorous pricks,” Ben spat.

  “Be careful, ok? This girl’s no picnic.” I recognized this man. He was one of the people who’d tried to kill Aden.

  “She’s nothing against all of—”

  I threw the dagger as I jumped out of the tree. Joyce’s voice cut off with a gurgle, the dagger piercing her throat. I landed on top of Ben’s shoulders, and blood sprayed into the air as my sword went through the side of his neck.

  Everything moved lightning fast when I pulled the sword out.