Rapid Pulse (Violet Memory Book 1) Read online

  And I could see that Gabriel’s past self also saw how she was different.

  “Lucy, is it really you? Are you . . . are you truly an angel now?”

  She grimaced. “Hardly an angel, my dearest Gab.” And then her fangs shot out of her gums.

  Gabriel cringed, but he didn’t back away. “What has happened to you? I thought you . . . I believed you were dead!”

  Tears fell from her eyes. “I am. Or at least, I should be.”

  Gabriel got up and went to her, sitting on the floor in front of her. He reached for her hands.

  Lucy didn’t let him. “Do no touch me, Gab! I am a monster! Oh, Gabriel, help me!” She put her fists against her temples and sobbed.

  Gabriel ignored her words and smoothed her hair. “A monster? Lucy, that’s impossible.”

  She got up, and the moonlight shining through the window showed what had been hidden before. Her white nightgown was streaked with blood, the red liquid staining her arms and bare feet.

  “I am no angel!” she cried. “I killed! I have killed, and I cannot bear it!”

  Gabriel’s loyalty to her knew no bounds. He never even blinked.

  “Tell me everything.”

  Lucy paced the room, unable to compose herself completely. She never stopped crying, and her hands and voice shook. “I didn’t mean to leave you. I didn’t want to. Forgive me, sweetest Gabriel, but Elias came back for me! He had been kept at a horrible, horrible place. And when he came for me, he was no longer human; he was a vampire!”

  “Lucy, I do not know what that is.”

  She shuddered. “A vampire is a monster. The sun and fire burns them, and wood through the heart will also reduce them to ashes. They drink blood to make the fire in the throat go away. They can make people do whatever they want. They are people who should be dead, but are not!

  “Another group of vampires, a coven, came and attacked Grace, the woman who took Elias. During the fight, Elias was killed. He had Grace’s blood inside his body and his blood was inside hers, so he became a vampire. Free from her Control because he was no longer human, he ran away and looked for me.”

  Gabriel looked understandably confused, but he nodded at her to continue.

  “He finally found me. And I was so happy to see him! But he was different. His eyes were so bright, and his skin was not warm. I was afraid of him, but I loved him so much—I couldn’t say no! I begged to bring you along, but he said it was too dangerous. . . . I am so sorry I went with him. I knew you would be safe here, at least. And my Elias, it was more than him just being a vampire. All those years of abuse changed him, and it had magnified when he turned. He was quiet all of the time, and he rarely laughed. But as the years went on, I helped him. We got married, and he started smiling and laughing again! And I had to . . .”

  Her fingers caressed her neck. “I didn’t want to, but he was in pain. And if I didn’t let him, he would hurt others. So I let him drink my blood. I thought God would forgive me as long as I did it to prevent the suffering of other people. My blood made his pain go away completely, but I was still glad I had not brought you, just in case. I started to feel the things he felt, and I saw everything that had happened to him. Such darkness he had lived in. . . .”

  Her breath hitched as Gabriel waited patiently for her to finish. “He promised me he wouldn’t turn me into a vampire; I did not want his fate. He was torn when it came to that. And he wanted me to drink his blood, to share ourselves, but I could not do it. It felt wrong. And had it been anyone but him, I would never have stayed in the first place!”

  “Lucy,” Gabriel said calmly. “What happened to make you different?”

  She was so pale. “Not all of the vampires in Grace’s coven were killed during the fight. Those who survived tracked down everyone who escaped. Their loyalty to their dead leader was not forced like it had been with Elias. They despised those who did not stay behind to help preserve her twisted legacy. Elias was outside one day, and I was inside at our home. I was in the kitchen chopping vegetables, and I turned around to see a man with glowing eyes. To get back at Elias, he took the knife and stabbed me in the stomach. Elias rushed inside when I screamed. Elias killed the vampire and fed me his blood to try to heal me, but the knife was silver, and I couldn’t be healed. . . . The last thing I saw was Elias crying over me. And then I woke up, and I was like him!”

  She dropped to the floor, her cries building up again. “I loved Elias even though he was a demon. And now I am one as well! I know I needed to drink his blood to make the thirst go away, but I could not do it! I refused!” She shook her head, and a snarl formed on her perfect lips. “I needed you, Gabriel, so I ran away while he slept, and I made a false trail with my blood to throw him off. I don't have much time before he comes for me. I was coming back to you, but on the way . . . a small house. The blood frenzy overtook me. They smelled so good, and it burned so bad. . . .”

  There was no name for the sound that came out of her mouth. “I did not mean to kill them! I killed children, too! Oh, Gabriel, kill me! Kill me, and let me be at peace!”

  Gabriel went to her and took her shoulders. “Lucy, I do not understand everything that has happened, but I do know you would never hurt anyone. It was an accident. Please don’t blame yourself.”

  She grabbed his shirt. “Remember our promise? Do you remember?”

  “Lucy . . .”

  She shook him. “DO YOU REMEMBER?”

  I closed my eyes and looked away. “She went mad,” I whispered.

  “Yes.” Gabriel’s voice drifted over me as gently as flower petals. “Personalities are heightened along with everything else upon becoming a vampire. Lucy was a God-fearing girl who loved Elias enough to defy her beliefs, but she could not bear what she had become. There are some who truly cannot face vampirism.”

  “Of course I remember our promise,” Gabriel said.

  Lucy cupped his face. “And I need you to honor it now. You must kill me. Whatever is in our best interest, no matter the cost. I honored my end by leaving you here so that you would be safe. I lost many years with you. And now . . . you must lose me forever.”

  Tears filled Gabriel’s eyes. “I cannot do it!”

  “Then will you at least allow me to do it myself? The sun will rise soon. I must go outside. I must let it take me away. I must beg God’s forgiveness for what I have done. . . .”

  They argued for hours until Gabriel finally acknowledged the madness in his sister’s eyes.

  “Then I will stay with you,” Gabriel muttered, defeated. “Until the end.”

  They walked outside, going and sitting by the lake’s shore. Gabriel wrapped his arms around his sister. The first rays of dawn shot through the sky in scarlet tendrils.

  “I love you, Gab. Thank you,” Lucy whispered.

  Tears fell freely down Gabriel’s face. “I love you, Lucy. Heaven waits for you. That I promise.”

  The sun peeked over the horizon. Light bled over the lake, touching the hem of Lucy’s gown.

  And then she burned alive in her brother’s arms. He held on until the pain became unbearable, and he screamed her pain for her.

  Before I could even consider consoling Gabriel for having to witness this again, the memory fast forwarded to nightfall, and Gabriel’s past self had not moved an inch from where Lucy had died. He sat next to the pile of ashes, catatonic, his clothes burned. Deep, oozing wounds covered his body. My own skin burned in response, and Gabriel controlled the connection as much as possible so I wouldn’t feel his pain.

  But his past self seemed to feel nothing at all.

  Understanding embedded itself inside my heart. Lucy’s death, along with the years of abuse he had endured, had been the beginning of Gabriel’s apathy.

  I knew what came next. Sure enough, a figure blurred and stood before Gabriel. Silver eyes looked down in horror at the remaining ashes that had not been taken with the wind.

  There were no words for the look on Elias’s face. It took a few minutes, b
ut something seemed to finally break in him as he picked up Gabriel by the arm, digging his fingers into Gabriel’s wounds.

  “I felt her depart from this world, but . . . I told myself it could not be true. Could not be true! How? How could you let her die?” Elias screamed, shaking Gabriel. “You of all people should have been able to convince her to stay alive, yet you let her burn to death!”

  Gabriel did not speak. His eyes seemed barely even aware of Elias’s presence.

  “I was going to let her stay human, but she was dying in my arms! She could have adjusted! All you needed to do was keep her alive until I came for her!” Elias shoved Gabriel to the ground and bent over him, his hand raised, his fingers clawed. “I will rip out your heart, Gabriel Arundel, just as you have ripped out mine!”

  Elias’s hand came down and sank into Gabriel’s chest. Blood welled around his fingers. And once he saw the blood, a calculating look pierced Elias’s raged face. He shook his head.

  “No. No. Death . . . death is a mercy for you, isn’t it? That is what you want. That is what you were waiting for. You were waiting for me to come to you and end your miserable existence.”

  Gabriel remained silent, but he blinked once, as if agreeing.

  Elias’s fangs snapped out. “I will kill you, Gabriel. But that will not be the end. My blood will be inside you, and your blood will be inside me. You will turn into what I am. And then I will wait. I will wait for you to find the one you love more than you ever thought possible. And I will wait for that person to love you in return, more than life itself. And when you finally think happiness is forever yours, I will take that person from you just as you have taken Lucy from me!”

  I didn’t want to watch this. I didn’t want to see the rest of this nightmare, yet I could only stare in horror as Elias sliced open his own wrist with his fangs, forcing his blood into a now very-awake Gabriel who struggled to escape Elias’s grip.

  The blood looked black in the moonlight as it dripped down Gabriel’s chin. His wounds knitted and closed, completely healed. Some of Elias’s memories ravished Gabriel’s mind. My heart stopped at the pictures of Elias’s past that I glimpsed through the ordeal; they were things no one should ever see, things no one should ever have to live through.

  And then Elias tore into Gabriel’s neck. Drank from him greedily. He grabbed the struggling Gabriel and dragged him into the lake. Forced his head under the water.

  Gabriel fought. He fought for longer than I would have thought possible. When he stopped moving, Elias smiled the same smile he always gave me before disappearing into the night.

  Hours went by as Gabriel floated lifelessly in the water.

  Finally, he moved. It was only a couple of inches at first, but then his face came out of the dark water. He crawled to shore, and those bright emeralds looked around in fascinated terror as he screamed a wordless cry into the night sky.

  Chapter 12 Inevitable Reunion

  Gabriel’s fangs left my wrist. I did not feel as weak as I had expected to, as he had not taken much blood despite the amount of time we had spent inside our memories; time moved differently there.

  For a while I stayed on the ground as Gabriel leaned over me, trying to process everything I had witnessed.

  “I’m sorry,” I murmured.

  He reached over and wiped a trickle of blood away from my wrist. “Why are you apologizing to me?”

  I swallowed hard. “Because I made you relive all of that again,” I whispered.

  He pressed two fingers lightly over the puncture wounds. “Do you want this healed?”

  I tilted my head. “You’re dodging my words. I said I was sorry.”

  I felt his temper before I saw it. His eyes became overwhelmingly bright. “Do not apologize to me about anything ever again. After all I have done to you, I do not even deserve to breathe the same air as you.”

  I sat up. He moved away, but stayed on the ground with me.

  “You blame yourself,” I said, ignoring his words about me. “And so does Elias. But do you really think either one of you could have stopped her? From what I saw, she just wanted to see you one more time. Her mind was made up.”

  His pain washed over me. He looked away. “It was my fault. I should have tried harder to talk her out of it.”

  “You did. You tried for hours.”

  He sighed; the sound was long and tired. “I should have tried for days. Together with Elias, maybe we could have convinced her.”

  My hands went to my head. “Ugh, this will take some getting used to. For now, no more telepathy. I’m having a hard enough time with this stupid connection as it is.”

  He cracked a small smile, but it fell when I furrowed my brow. He sighed again, understanding. I was afraid, and he knew why.

  “I do not know,” he said, answering the question I didn’t even have to ask. “You feeling my thirst may happen again. I know it occurred with Thomas and Inola, but I had forgotten. I am sorry. . . . I should have taken care of it. That was not even my thirst at its worst. You are human, and the pain was too much for your senses to bear.”

  I shuddered. “I don’t know how you can withstand such pain. It was beyond anything I ever imagined.”

  Gabriel nodded. “I know. I’m sorry. I just . . .”

  “Only want my blood,” I finished for him. “That’s why you were thirsty. You only want mine. It makes your thirst go away completely while any other blood would just make it fade.” My cheeks burned. “And you like the taste. You wanting only my blood . . .” I cracked my knuckles. “I understand better now.”

  And I did understand. I understood the meaning behind it, just like I understood why Elias wanted me dead.

  I just didn’t want it to be true.

  “Gabriel, I can’t feel that pain again. It hurts too much.”

  “I know. I will take care of it as best as I can from now on.”

  I forced myself to not look away from him. It was difficult, as he had seen parts of me no one ever had before. It felt as if bits of my soul were exposed.

  “I don’t want you killing or hurting anyone else for blood. It’s not right,” I said.

  “There are blood bags in the mansion. Not as effective, but they will suffice.”

  He hopped up, his movements like water. He held out his hand to me.

  My fingertips twitched as I raised my hand halfway, but I pulled it back and stood up without his assistance.

  “I really do not feel well,” I confessed, my voice robotic. I could feel my mind forcing my body into auto-pilot mode, the defense mechanism my brain had activated after the plane crash. I knew I was reaching my limit. I had seen too much, been through too much.

  Gabriel’s worry poured into me. “Please allow me to walk you to the kitchen. You are hungry even though you do not feel like you are.”

  I nodded, not as unwilling as I would have been before. As much as it baffled me, I truly knew that Gabriel was not going to hurt me. That in itself would not allow me to forgive him for destroying what was left of my life, but the intense protectiveness of me he was feeling was very real, drifting into me continuously. It was unnerving and comforting at the same time.

  I reached down and grabbed the stake before walking. Thomas must have left it. I would give it back when I saw him. . . .

  Gabriel’s worry turned to wariness. My knuckles tightened around the stake as I tucked it inside the back pocket of my jeans, covering it with Inola’s blue T-shirt that I wore.

  I had to remember my thoughts were no longer my own. Just as I recognized that, Gabriel’s mind faded, making relief flutter throughout my ribs. So it was not constant yet. I would still have my mind to myself at times, yet I could feel the ability to communicate with him telepathically if I needed to.

  Gabriel blocked the outside door to the kitchen. “Wait.”

  I raised an eyebrow in response.

  He hesitated, his hair falling into his eyes. “I know you are not comfortable with our blood connection. It is strange f
or me as well. It cannot be erased, but it can be repressed if you make a conscious effort.”

  “I know,” I said. “I figured that out before my throat caught on fire.”

  “I just wanted to make sure you knew. And Kara . . .” His eyes smoldered. “I would kill Elias if I could. I have tried numerous times before, but I cannot kill him, as he created me. And he will not kill me, and you know why. And although Violet Memory is actively seeking him as of now, do not get your hopes up that he will be found.”

  I studied my feet. “I understand.”

  “Also, I will be gone for a while.”

  My head shot up.

  “You will be in the care of Inola and Thomas, so harm will not befall you. I did not want to leave until I knew you were awake. I must look for Elias. I may not be able to kill him, but I will be traveling with a few others who can, ones older than him, and that will give us an advantage if we find him.” Spurts of his anger cut into me before fading. “I want to be there when he dies.”

  I didn’t know what to say. What surprised me the most was that I was not sure how I felt about Gabriel being gone.

  “Well, um, just don’t kill or hurt anyone except for Elias. And I won’t run away again,” I said, the words coming out too slowly.

  His eyes grew soft. My breathing became slightly uneven. His gaze went to my chest, obviously registering that he’d heard, before coming back to my face.

  “You have my word, and I have yours.” He gestured to the door. “This is where I leave you.”

  “Ok . . . ,” I said, my voice trailing off unevenly.

  We stood there for a few minutes. I tried to look at his face, but I could only look at his shoulder. Finally, I raised my eyes to his. I didn’t need the blood connection to grasp that he was reluctant to leave. I blinked, and he was gone. The only evidence he’d even been there was the fading scent of crushed pine needles.

  I leaned against the wall and held my wrist, tracing the two perfect holes his fangs had made. They didn’t hurt at all. I pressed down against the wound, puzzled.

  The door slid open. “Kara, are you all right?”